1000 thoughts going through my mind

I should be gratefull but I’m not

And this huge pain I’m feeling in my chest

I try to breath slowly, just to relax

But I can’t !!!

One Million thoughts of what could have been my life

Of everything that I have sacrificed,

But in the end I question

“Was it all worth the effort ?”

Or am I just delaying a disaster by days ? Or minutes ?

I guess I will never know