My Brother

I Love my Brother more than anything. But now he’s making it so hard for me to show it. I always blame myself for his misbehavior. I should be his Role Model. So anything he does reflects on me. I’m so sad right now.

He thinks that school isn’t that important anymore. Rather Loves to spend time outside that with his family. Everyday i’m so afraid ’cause of those dark paths that he could take some day, and i tell you it isn’t easy to get back from there. Actually it’s fucking hard.

If heard that at school every teacher and staff is comparing him with me. How hard would life be when u know that u can’t compare 2 ur perfect brother. Perfect, it’s not that i think that i am. But over the time i’ve made quite a reputation over myself. And now it’s all my fault ?!?!?!?

And when i went to College i pushed him away ’cause i felt not 2 play with kids anymore. Fuck it.

Sometimes when i see his friends i want to kill em cause i know they are bad company for him, or aren’t they. Dunno.

Everything is far 2 complicated now ! ! !

Sometimes when i ride on my bike 2 work, i try so hard 2 hold my tears cause i know that everything become 2 fucked up now 2 repair. Damn it.

Life was so much easier through the eyes of a child.

5 thoughts on “My Brother

  1. oi bro.. this is me… I feel really touched when I read this…ur kind of good brothers.. hope u find your way out… wish the best for you and your family…

  2. don’t blame ur self Julian!! Hm..environment emang berpengaruh gede banged..Yang bisa u lakuin sekarang…do ur best Julian…n dont forget to keep praying.. U can’t change him…Only God could do tat.. 🙂 Trust in God Julian… Gue salut sama lo.. Great Brother! I believe tat u can do the best one in everything for ur family..and u did

  3. Pingback: Inside my Head - Julian Alimin » Blog Archive » My Brother

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